Mad World
by Ninirue2
Summary: The horrors of Plastic Beach seem to be so simple, yet so much more has happened. Story is mainly about what all really occurred on the island, mainly between 2D and Murdoc.
1. The Joplin Spider

_**Colorful sailors washed up on the shore  
**__**Caught up on bad times  
**__**Spider in the ditch, she saw it all  
**__**Went to train, ride to dance  
**__**Colorful sailors washed up on the shore  
**__**Met up on violence  
**__**Spider in the ditch, she saw it all  
**__**World has fall on bad times**_

_**~ The Joplin Spider - Gorillaz**_

* * *

2D shivered and his fingers stumbled as he tried to place the already lit cancer stick into his mouth.  
He could hear them upstairs.  
Every crash and gunshot.  
It always set him on edge.  
His eyes were white with fear as he looked up at his ceiling.  
This had been going on for quite some time.  
This fight seemed to be more brutal than usual.  
Any minute now he was expecting Murdoc to come down and beat him to release frustration  
or come down seeking some sort of medical attention.  
Sometimes when he was hurt badly he would ask the singer to help him.  
He never understood why he obliged, but he always did.  
Sometimes Cyborg didn't know what to do.  
2D never understood why the bassist didn't program her to know how to dress wounds.  
It always scared the singer half the death.  
The possibility that one day he'd go upstairs and Murdoc would be dead...  
He wanted to get out of here so badly.  
So badly it almost made him explode with anxiety.  
He didn't even understand why the older man kept him here.  
The album had been released a while back.  
Now 2D was tinkering with his own machines and making music himself.  
It was one of the only things that calmed him down.  
He couldn't keep himself completley calm on medication and smoking alone.  
He would also become more calm once he heard the attacks slowing down.  
2D could feel it now.  
Could feel the fight coming to an end.  
A part of him felt relief, but he also felt fear.  
Fear of what state Murdoc was in.  
Even if Murdoc was okay, he wouldn't be.  
No matter what, there would always be blood.  
Someone would be bleeding by the end of the night.  
He stared at his door as it flung open startling him and making him drop his fag.

"M-m-murdoc? Issat yew?"

"Shut yo' fuckin' mouth. I didn' ask you to speak."

"I-I was jus' checkin'..."

Murdoc walked forward and smacked him hard across the face.  
2D's head flung sideways due to the impact making him whimper.

"M-mudz... jus' wanna know if yo' okay..."

"Shut t'e fuck up faceache!"

He grabbed at his hair and yanked his head back.

"You fuckin' speak when I say to!"

2D's eyes started to water.  
His head started to ache again.  
He was so tired of this cycle.  
Being worried about Murdoc then having him come down and beat him.

"T-tosser!"

Murdoc shoved him back and punched him hard in the face.  
2D grabbed at his nose as it started to bleed checking to see if it was broken.  
Luckily it wasn't.

"Now...I came down to talk to you about somethin'."

2D nodded slowly trying slow down the bleeding.

"When we finally get off t'is island I'm gonna get questioned quite a bit."

"And?"

"**AND** I need you to keep yo' fuckin mouth shut."

2D looked up at Murdoc in slight confusion.

"Everyone knows abou' yew kidnappin' me an' beatin' me an' -"

"No! I dun' gve a shit about tha'! I mean t'e sailors an' pirates."

"Wot' 'bout 'em?"

"Well...you've seen 'em..."

2D looked down and shook his head making his hair fall in his face.  
He zoned out for a bit as he tried to hide his horror.  
He didn't want to recall the times he'd seen the results of these attacks.

"'Ello? Faceache?"

"T'e bodies keep washin' up on t'e shore...island now smells like death..."

Murdoc stared at him in silence.  
2D's nosebleed finally ended, much to his relief.

"An' you'll keep yo' fat mouth shut 'bout it, right?"

"'Bout wot? 'Bout me watchin' yew murder people?"

"I call it self defense."

"No...yew're killin' people...I've watched people die on yo' hands..."

"An' you'll shut t'e fuck up about it!"

"Murdoc...I dunno if I can..."

The satanst grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him forward.

"What?!"

"Murdoc aftah awl yew've done to me...to Noodle an' Russel...I can't jus' cover fo' yew!"

"You can an' you will!"

"No! I fuckin' won't! People 'ave died! You've got blood on yo' 'ands!"

"An' your blood will be nex' if you don't shut yo' fuckin' trap!"

"Yew won' kill me!"

"You've seen me kill t'ose people out t'ere. Don' think I won't murder you too."

2D looked at Murdoc's blank expression.  
He couldn't believe it.  
How serious he was.

"Y-yew're a fuckin' monster!"

Murdocs fist collided with 2D's face once more causing his nosebleed to start again.  
He then shoved the singer against a wall.

"You want to see a monster?! I'll show you one!"

Murdoc smacked 2D hard once more causing the already red mark to grow darker.  
He needed 2D to fear him. How else was he supposed to control him?  
2D couldn't fight back. He wouldn't fight back.  
He just accepted it. Accepted that Murdoc was gong to beat him.  
Mark him over and over until he agreed.  
Suddenly, Murdoc head butted him making the pianist collapse onto the ground.  
He then kicked at his sides.

"Wanker!"

Murdoc kicked harder.  
2D swore he could feel his ribs breaking one by one.  
He cried out in pain knowing there would be no help.  
Help never came.  
He could feel his blood pooling around him.  
The life slowly being beaten out of him.  
His eyes were shutting slowly as Murdoc continued to kick at him.  
Slowly, he passed out.


	2. Running Up That Hill

_**You don't want to hurt me,**_  
_**but see how deep the bullet lies.**_  
_**Unaware that I'm tearing you asunder.**_  
_**There is thunder in our hearts, baby.**_  
_**So much hate for the ones we love?**_  
_**Tell me, we both matter, don't we?**_  
_**You, be running up that hill**_  
_**You and me, be running up that hill**_  
_**You and me won't be unhappy.**_  
_**And if I only could,**_  
_**Make a deal with God,**_  
_**And get him to swap our places,**_  
_**Be running up that road,**_  
_**Be running up that hill,**_  
_**Be running up that building,**_  
_**If I only could...**_

_**~ Running Up That Hill - Placebo**_

* * *

2D woke up in a daze.  
His eyes fluttering open with a dull pain everywhere.  
His head was throbbing.  
In all honesty, everything was throbbing.  
Covering him in pain.  
He needed his pills before this newly formed migraine fully kicked in.  
He groaned as he pulled himself off the floor to find dried blood everywhere.  
He knew it was his own.  
He wasn't too worried about the fact Murdoc could've killed him.  
He wasn't even worried that he couldn't fully remember what happened.  
His only concern was finding all of the bruises and cuts.  
He grabbed at his pill bottle and poured a few into his hand.  
As he swallowed them dry he limped over to a mirror.  
He could see bruising everywhere visible.  
He even had large dark marks covering his cheeks.  
His eyes were bruised too.  
He carefully lifted his shirt and winced at the pain.  
There he stood observing every cut.  
His ribs were aching, but none seemed to be broken.  
He was surprised nothing was broken this time.  
Usually something snapped.  
There was no doubt though that these bruises were bad.  
Every movement came with a sharp pain.  
Soon 2D's pills would kick in.  
He grabbed at his hair noticing dried blood in it.  
Blood was everywhere really.  
He couldn't locate where it was all coming from though.  
He decided a shower would be a good place to find out.

* * *

Murdoc looked at his reflection.  
A monster.  
2D called him a monster.  
Nothing new to the satanist.  
He'd been called plenty of things before,  
but this seemed to get to him.  
Sometimes he honestly couldn't recognize himself.  
He seemed to be losing all sense of reality.  
2D was right.  
People were dead and it was all his fault.  
All because of deals he'd made and promises he never kept.  
All because he was too stupid to realize this was all a mess.  
Murdoc was a prisoner.  
A prisoner on his own island.  
He didn't want to talk about it though.  
He'd never been one to really talk.  
Violence was his way of talking.  
Sometimes he even hated to hear 2D's voice.  
He was living proof of how badly he could fuck someone else up.  
That's why Murdoc meant it when he said he could kill him.  
He could kill the remaining evidence of his wrong doing...  
but there were too many witnesses.  
Too many people who'd seen it.  
Besides, he could never bring himself to that point.  
He could never actually kill the younger man.

It seemed so cliché to say this,  
but 2D was the only one who kept him from being completely soul-less.  
2D was the last piece of himself that wasn't dead.  
He didn't know exactly when the younger man had become a part of him, but he did.  
Just like Noodle was a part of him.  
Just like Gorillaz itself was a part of him.  
When the heart of the band died, they all died in a sense.  
Without Noodle there wasn't a point.  
Russel had lost the last part of his sanity.  
2D had lost a piece of his own heart and soul.  
He'd lost everything really.  
When Russel left Kong, he didn't care.  
The drummer needed to leave for his sanity's sake.  
When 2D left, that's when it all came crashing down.  
That's when Murdoc really became demented.  
Nobody was there to stop him.  
Tell him he was wrong.  
Just him and the demons.  
He built the Cyborg and burned Kong.  
He hoped burning down that building would burn it away.  
All the emotions, confused feelings.

It did for a while...  
but once he started writing music again after finding Plastic Beach he remembered.  
He thought of 2D...he needed his voice.  
The blue haired man who kept him stable for so long needed to sing for the album.  
Fuck his sanity or stability, he needed his lead singer for money.  
Maybe his inner self needed the bluenette for closure or even to bring him back from feeling so numb...  
but Murdoc mainly needed him for another album.  
Once he found the younger man, he just hired someone to kidnap him.  
Bring him to sing.  
2D hadn't completely lost it like Murdoc had, but he was still lost.  
Sometimes Murdoc envied 2D for that.  
How could such horrible things come to you, and you still carry on?  
2D was so much stronger than Murdoc, and didn't even know it.  
Murdoc couldn't even understand how 2D could worry about him.  
He should want the satanist dead.  
Sometimes Murdoc wished he was dead, or wished him and the singer could switch places.  
Have the blue haired man beating him instead.  
Out of all the deals he'd made, he wished he'd make a deal to switch places with 2D.  
Maybe so he could be a little stronger than he was.  
The bassist realized 2D was what really kept him from being a full demon.  
Being one of those monsters you hear in stories and films.  
Maybe he wanted to be a full demon.  
Maybe he wanted his soul.  
He didn't know what he wanted.  
All he knew was he didn't want to go to jail.  
He didn't want those murders to be brought up again.  
The satanist was tired of thinking so hard.

"**Cyborg!**"

Quickly the robotic clone made her way to him.

"Yes, ?"

"Rum.** I need rum!**"

She quickly ran and came back with a glass full of the liquid.  
She carefully held the bottle ready for him to call for refills.  
Murdoc would do what he did every night, drink himself half to death.

* * *

After a long shower 2D had discovered the origin of all the blood.  
There was a large gash on his lower back.  
There was also a large cut on his shoulder.  
He laid back carefully onto his bed.  
The pain pills had kicked in long ago, leaving him feeling slightly dull and numb.  
He slowly looked out of the window and sighed with relief.  
There was no whale in sight.  
He closed his curtains then tried to relax.  
Suddenly he started to hear a soft crying noise.  
He knew it was coming from Murdoc.  
He hated that everyone assumed Murdoc couldn't cry.  
He hated to hear the older man cry.  
Murdoc always put up a good act.  
Everyone bought the big tough guy thing, but not 2D.  
He knew that the bassist was nothing but a was still the little boy who was abused by his father.  
Maybe that's why he always refused to fight back.  
Despite the ammount of pain Murdoc put him in, he would never want to make Murdoc feel that.  
He's already had his fair share of pain.  
2D closed his eyes and slowly started humming, trying to cover the sounds of Murdoc sobs.  
His humming broke out into crying of his own.


	3. Who's Gonna Save My Soul?

**Author's note:  
Here are 2 fun facts about me.  
****1. I usually make really stupid typos and mess up sentences due to me finding inspiration at hours where I should be sleeping  
****2. I hate writing paragraphs which is why I just say "forget it" and indent all the sentences. I like to think of it as my writing style.  
****With that said, enjoy!**

* * *

_**And maybe it's a little selfish**_  
_**All I have is the memory**_  
_**Yet I never stopped to wonder**_  
_**Was it possible you were hurtin' worse than me?**_  
_**Still my hunger turns to greed**_  
_**Cause what about what I need?**_  
_**And Oh, Who's gonna save my soul now?**_  
_**Who's gonna save my soul now?**_

_**~ Who's Gonna Save My Soul - **__**Gnarls Barkley **_

* * *

"Fuckin' hell." Murdoc mumbled to himself as he picked himself up from the ground.  
He knew he was going to get drunk last night, but not completely wasted.  
His head was throbbing almost as if he hit it against something.  
Looking up he saw he might have hit his desk.  
He pulled himself off the floor and dragged himself to the singer's room.  
When he reached the door he hesitantly turned the doorknob.  
Once he looked inside he saw the singer asleep.  
Murdoc didn't want to wake him really.  
2D's sleep was a time where he looked so peaceful.  
He always used to have a peace about him back at Kong...  
now he just usually looked shaken up or afraid.  
Although the bassist didn't like making him so afraid, he had to.  
That was the only way he'd have power over the singer.  
He continued to watch 2D sleep peacefully.  
He knew it must be weird watching him sleep, but he didn't really care right now.  
He felt his chest tighten as he noticed all the bruises on the younger man's body and saw as the bluenette began to shiver.  
He didn't know what that feeling was, but he didn't like it. The younger man began grabbing at his sheets.  
Murdoc knew he was having a nightmare.  
With all of this his chest felt unbearable. There must be some way to get rid of it...  
Cyborg walked into the room behind Murdoc.  
Murdoc's eyes widened as he tried to get her to leave.  
He didn't want 2D to know he was in here and she usually woke him up, whether on purpose or accident.

"Cyborg, I command you to get t'e bloody fuck out!" Murdoc whispered loudly.

With a nod Cyborg turned around and marched out of the room.  
She then slammed the door behind her quickly angering Murdoc and defeating the purpose.  
2D sat up quickly in his bed with a yelp.  
He then stared at Murdoc and his eyebrows furrowed.  
That's what made him wake up.

"Mu'doc, why are yew in 'ere?"

"I can be wherever t'e fuck I want on my island!"

"Okay, wha' t'e hell do you want?"

"I was jus' standin' 'ere an' Cyborg slammed t'e bloody door!"

2D's eyes widened a bit.

"Yew were watchin' me sleep?!"

"Fuck no! I was gonna wake you up to see if you were still alive!"

"Well I'm still breathin', righ'? Yew now know I'm fine."

2D scowled at Murdoc.

"Yew can get ou' now..." the singer said timidly turning slightly and shaking his hair into his face.

Annoyance spread upon Murdoc's face.

"No."

"So...yew beat me 'alf to death an won' say sorry...an' now yew wanna talk?"

"Why can't you stop bein' so juvenile for a moment?"

"T'is is awl so juvenile! I woke up in a pool of my own blood! I cleaned myself up, woke up again in t'e middle of t'e night an' 'ad to clean more off t'e floor an' t'e man who did it wants me to talk to 'im like everyfing is fine an' nofink is wrong! Yew left me passed t'e fuck out! I could 'ave died an' yew dun' give a shit! I dun' wanna see yew!"

"Remember when we used to jus' smoke an' talk to each other? I kind of miss tha'..."

"Now yew rather beat t'e shit outta me."

2D was about to cry again.

"I really do miss when yew didn' act like a fuckin' psycho Mu'doc...wot 'appened to yew while we were away? Yo' not yo'self anymore...I know yew, an' t'is isn't it...it 'urts...me physically an' mentally, but I'm sure yo' 'urtin' too. Probably worse than me. I's like yo' soul is gone now. Ih' scares me a bit...a lot actually. Why can' yew be yo'self again?"

"Yo' aware tha' t'e real world isn't tha' simple, righ'? I mean, I jus' beat you up an' yo' scared fo' me? Typical 2D."

"I'm scared fo' myself too...I t'ink t'is may be a bit selfish to say but, if yo' soul is gone, who's gonna save mine? What abou' me?"

Murdoc rolled his eyes.

"Quit yo' fuckin' whining. Tell me, what did ya' dream about?"

2D looked up at him.  
It was almost as if what he said fell on deaf ears.

"Did yew even 'ear me?"

"I said, wha' did you dream about?"

Murdoc blew off the question once more.  
2D scowled again.

"I guess I'll tell yew... fo' old times sake. I was sittin' t'ere on t'e shore of t'e beach smokin'. No' a sound. Fo' once everyfin' aroun' me was peaceful and serene...no' like when I'm wit' yew."

He stopped for a second and began messing with his fingers out of nervousness.

"Suddenly, I 'eard my name in t'e distance. T'e voice was quite small and timid...jus' crying out in t'e distance... I stood up an' looked ou' realizin' wha' I saw."

Murdoc raised an eyebrow.

"Wot ya' see?"

"Ih' was Noodle... callin' out my name. She smiled at me...ih' was very gentle. I needed to get to 'er somehow. Ou' of suprise I dropped my fag an' ran forward. T'en t'e groun' caught fire. T'ere was a large fire between us. I looked at 'er once more and I-"

His voice cracked.

"I saw 'er eyes glowin'. I stumbled backward noticin' 'er eyes an' she slowly pulled a gun ou'..'er mouth seemed to be dripping some sort of oil an' a evil wicked smile grew across 'er face..."

At this point Murdoc watched as 2D was holding back tears.

"'Toochi...' she called me as she pointed a gun to me 'ead...t'en ou' of nowhere I saw a whale rising ou' of t'e wa'er quickly comin' at me...t'en I woke up."

Murdoc just stood there staring at 2D.

He didn't know what to really say to him.

"T'e door may 'ave woken me up, but I'm very grateful ih' did."

Murdoc nodded quickly and turned around opening the door.

"I was jus' curious."

He then mumbled something and walked out of the room leaving 2D in mild confusion.  
2D shook his head and opened his bottle of pills taking a few.  
He slumped over and buried his face into his hands.  
He didn't really feel like doing anything right now.  
Sometimes he didn't understand Murdoc.  
Hell, Murdoc didn't understand himself.  
He didn't want to think about it too hard though.  
His mind was playing more games with him and he wasn't in the mood to deal with it.

* * *

Murdoc said I'm sorry.  
That's what he'd mumbled.  
It helped the tension in his chest die down a little.  
He never really liked to apologize though.  
He didn't feel like talking.  
He never meant to get caught in the room anyways.  
He didn't even understand why he carried out a conversation with 2D.  
Every time he talked to the younger man after beating him badly that tightening in his chest built up again.  
He'd never felt that before... it was one of the things that scared him.  
He'd heard what 2D had said about him not being himself and his soul being gone.  
He couldn't think straight.  
Could the singer possibly believe his soul was leaving him too?  
The demons weren't after 2D.  
Then again, 2D probably wasn't aware demons were behind it.  
Murdoc's head was spinning fast now.  
He needed a break from this.  
He was sure the vocalist needed a break too.

"**CYBORG!**"

He heard swift footsteps near him but he couldn't see her.

"Yes?"

She suddenly appeared right behind him making him jump in surprise.

"**Fuck!** Don't do tha'!"

She cocked her head to the side in slight confusion.

"Anyways... when you bring dent face lunch tell 'im 'e 'as a free day."

Cyborg stood there calculating what Murdoc had said.

"1004; **ERROR_NO_ASSOCIATION"**

Murdoc groaned and rubbed his temples with frustration.

"Jus' don' lock t'e door an' let 'im go until I say so! I'll be in my secret lab if you need me."

"Yes, ."

With that said she turned around and marched down to the singer's room.  
Sometimes Murdoc hated that he ever built the robot.  
Although she looked like Noodle, there was no replacing her.  
The real Noodle wasn't nearly as rigid and cold.  
Sometimes the way 2D looked at the machine made Murdoc uncomfortable.  
He even caught him talking to her a few times as if she were Noodle.  
She would answer things like Noodle would at times, and that gave 2D temporary satisfaction.  
Once that satisfaction faded he became depressed all over again.  
He'd have nightmares again like the one he just experienced.  
Despite the attachment Murdoc had grown toward her and the fact that she could be similar to Noodle, there was always an inexplicable evil about her.  
The way her eyes illuminated and a smirk grew across her face before she fired her guns always made everyone uneasy.  
That was probably the worst part of 2D's dream. It seemed as if Cyborg was taking over...trying to replace who she replicated.  
It didn't help ease his worries realizing how often she had some sort of glitch.  
One day she turned around and randomly fired the gun installed in her mouth at Murdoc.  
Although it didn't get him, it did scrape his arm.  
He thought he fixed that issue though.  
The satanist wasn't planning on getting rid of his minion for the singer's benefit.  
Besides, she kept them alive most of the time.

Murdoc walked down his staircase into his secret room.  
There he'd have another drink to clear his head.


	4. Revolving Doors

**Author's note: I actually went to Gorillaz website to make certain parts were as accurate as possible, like how the studio looks and where everything is. Didn't want to say something dumb like "2D walked out of his room into the kitchen." I also think the Sarcasmo part was a nice touch...right? Please read and review. Thanks!**

* * *

_**"Revolving doors, what have I done?  
**__**Someone on the TV, a tepid loss  
**__**Revolving doors, what will I become?  
**__**A redneck song  
**__**He paid up for a seven  
**__**But he only got an eight now, now  
**__**I feel that I'm paused by all the pills  
**__**I see no running"**_

_**~ Revolving Doors - Gorillaz**_

* * *

2D looked at his door as the knob turned.  
Cyborg walked in quickly.  
2D looked up at her with black buttoned eyes and a blank expression.

"Master Murdoc has requested I let you have a free day."

2D smiled a bit.

"Wot's t'e catch?"

Cyborg stood there and looked at him for a bit.  
_**Command Audio Pickup Detected : Wot's t'e catch?;  
**__**User Detected: 2D Prisoner Vocalist... Gorillaz... idiot  
**__**Action:Listening;  
**__**Listening: Wot's t'e catch?;  
**__**Unknown command Detected "Catch" No Verb Found;;**_

"I'm sorry, I cannot comprehend your speech."

2D rolled his eyes and stood up quickly.  
Sometimes Cyborg really didn't pick up on normal conversations.

"Nevermin'."

He walked out of the room with Cyborg following him closely.  
He walked into the elevator next to the robot and looked at her.

"So Cyborg...um...how're yew?"

_**Action:Listening;  
**__**Listening: How are you?;  
**__**Accepted; Respond, carry conversation**_

"I'm doing fine. How are you?"

"Pretty shitty ah' guess...but glad I go' a free day."

2D realized the elevator wasn't moving and pressed the button leading to the study.

"Not being around the whale must be nice for you."

2D shuddered a bit at the thought of the whale.

"Yeah...I 'ate tha' fing."

"Yes you do, but it does keep you company."

"Company?! Tha' fing wants to eat me, blud!"

"Really? I was not told by Master that it's motive was to eliminate you."

"Well tha' fing wants to elimina'e me awright! It wants to chew me awl up!"

"It must get lonely down there though."

"I guess ih gets lonely..."

There was a brief silence.

"Do yew ever feel lonely?"

Cyborg didn't respond as a ding went off on the elevator.  
She walked off.  
They headed to the study together, but she was straight to Murdoc's secret room.  
2D watched as she walked off and shrugged.  
He might as well explore a bit.  
He'd knew where everything was,  
he just never got to visit them on his own often.  
2D walked toward the studio.  
He would usually be here by sheer force,  
but he felt like he needed music right now.  
I'd be a good way to escape.  
It was also a good way to release his emotions.  
The studio here actually annoyed him a bit.  
The room was so cluttered with things.  
Usually the rooms were cluttered, but here it was all Murdoc's mess.  
Bottles, ash trays, and rotten food were scattered everywhere.  
Not to mention he swore he could hear Superfast Jellyfish on repeat.  
He walked over to grab the first acoustic guitar he saw.  
He looked at what it was leaning on.  
It seemed to be some kind of machine.  
"Sarcasmo..." he muttered to himself as he looked at the puppet inside.  
He looked down at the ground and picked up a coin.  
He put it into the slot and watched the puppet with curiosity.  
He jumped a bit once it came to life and began to speak.

"Well, that was worth it wasn't it?  
Why don't you try sticking another coin in the slot, yeh?  
Infact! Why don't you try sticking it up your arrrrr..."

2D stared at it realizing it died.  
No wonder it was called Sarcasmo.  
He carried the guitar away sitting in the nearest chair.  
His long fingers began gently strumming a few tunes.  
Song after song he continued to strum.  
He then started to play one last tune and he hummed along to it.  
Soon humming turned into words.

_**"I sit in a diner, and the Beatles play  
**__**I'm paid up for a seven but I only got s-o-eight and now  
**__**I feel that I'm paused by all the pills  
**__**I seem to run out here  
**__**Revolving doors  
**__**It's stormy on the eastern sea board  
**__**He got silver up his night  
**__**He paid up for three  
**__**But got only two"**_

The music seemed to flow from him as he sang along to the tune.  
It seemed to be reflecting his emotions.  
The way he seemed so trapped here.  
He was trapped when he wrote it;  
back when Murdoc dragged him to America for a world tour.  
That day he looked out of the window and the gloom and fog reminded him of how he felt.  
Murdoc had given him his daily beating and he was so doped up from pills...  
Sometimes his pill intake scared him, but they were the only way.  
The way he coped with things.  
He wanted to go back home.  
Back to London where he could forget.  
Forget about Murdoc.  
Forget about Noodle.  
Forget about Russel.  
Forget in general.  
He didn't want to be reminded on a daily basis by a walking piece of metal that his best friend was dead.  
He didn't want to remember he could do nothing about it and he could only stand there and watch.  
He didn't want to sing for Murdoc anymore,  
be a part of his schemes,  
get beaten up for opposing,  
watch him kill people,  
or even remember the man had scared him mentally, physically, and emotionally.  
There's was only so much tragedy and death one guy could take before snapping.  
2D was sick of watching people get shot down and murdered for trying to attack Murdoc.  
That was all his fault anyways, he shouldn't have been selling weapons to illegal pirates.  
He really shouldn't have been trying to rip them off and sell broken weapons either.  
Not to mention The Boogieman wanted Mudoc's soul and they all knew it.  
As the days went by, The Boogieman got closer and closer.  
The blue haired man feared he wouldn't stop at Murdoc's soul.  
It scared 2D.  
All of this scared him to death...  
part of him really wanted to die...  
and he couldn't do anything about it.  
All he could do is cope with way he knew how.  
Taking his painkillers and making music.

_**"Then he said  
**__**Seems I was born for this  
**__**Seems I was born to this"**_

A few tears streaked down the singers face as he sang those lines.  
He stopped playing and quickly wiped them away before putting the guitar back in it's place.  
2D walked into the study and up the staircase onto the roof.  
He leaned against the railing, pulled out a fag, and lit it.  
He took a long drag from it as he watched the sun set.  
It really was a beautiful sight.  
Seeing the sun set against the blue waters.  
It was very peaceful.  
Got him to actually stop thinking and appreciate the moment.  
After some time he heard footsteps behind him.  
He didn't bother to turn around though.  
He smoked the little remaining of his deathstick and continued to look out.

"Master says I must bring you to your room now."

2D nodded and threw the fag onto the ground putting it out with his foot.  
He watched as the sun completely disappeared and followed Cyborg back down to his room


	5. Beetlebum

**_Beetlebum  
_****_What you've done  
_****_She's a gun  
_****_Now what you've done  
_****_Beetlebum  
_****_Get nothing done  
_****_You beetlebum just get numb  
_****_Now what you've done  
_****_Beetlebum  
_****_And when she lets me slip away  
_****_She turns me on all my violence is gone  
_****_Nothing is wrong  
_****_I just slip away and I am gone  
_****_Nothing is wrong  
_****_She turns me on  
_****_I just slip away and I am gone_**

**_~ Beetlebum - Blur_**

* * *

2D sat on his bed with his clown mask on.  
Sometimes he enjoyed putting it on because he knew it hid his feelings.  
It was a way to hide from Murdoc...  
He may have been in his room, but Murdoc had cameras everywhere.  
Watching every move he made trying to ensure he wouldn't escape.  
Then again, how could he?  
There was a homicidal robot on the island.  
Not to mention he'd rather be locked up with Cyborg than anywhere near that whale.

He saw his door open slowly.  
His masked face turned toward the door to see Murdoc standing there.  
2D frowned a bit underneath the mask.

"Cyborg's actin' fucked up again..."

2D just stared at him.

Murdoc growled at the mask.  
He hated the mocking smile it had plastered onto its face.  
It irritated him suddenly.

"So I need ya' to stay put for a few days...yeah...days, hours, weeks...whatever..."

"Stay...put? Do I have a choice?"

"Not anymore!"

Murdoc began cackling.

2D frowned even more.  
The bassist stopped and was started to become increasingly frustrated and twitchy.

He couldn't tell what 2D felt.

He wanted to know...now.

He reached for his mask and pulled it off.  
2D tried to slap his hands away, to no avail.  
He looked up at Murdoc with bruised eyes and a blank expression.

"Mudz... I 'ate yew."

"So? Like I fuckin' care!"

"Yew used to be my best mate. Then again, you never really acted like a mate at all. Now I jus' see yo' a fuckin' Sociopath."

"Oh look! The Dullard can use big words! Can you read yet?" Murdoc stated mockingly.

"I always could...yew were the illiterate one."

2D froze.  
He felt a shiver down his spine.  
It felt as cold as ice, yet made his heart beat fast and his palms sweaty.  
He already knew what was coming next.  
Murdoc quickly turned and struck 2D so fast across the face he thought it was all an illusion.  
Then again, that was probably the booze talking...or whatever else he had in his system.

"Why can't you be smarter abou' yo' word choice?"

"Why can't you stop bein' an abusive arse?! I'm so tired Mudz...tired of-"

"Shut t'e fuck up! I don't care abou' yo' girly emotions!"

"Murdoc! Why can' yew jus' listen fo' once? An...an are yew twitchin'?"

"What you 'ave to say is pointless, so don't waste yo' breath! Also does it matter?!"

The singer leaned down pressing his palms against his forehead trying to calm down the newly forming migraine.

"Mu'doc...I'm tired. Jus'...go will ya'?"

Murdoc rolled his eyes.

He then smiled a bit at 2D watching him come down to a realization.

2D's eyebrows furrowed and he was more annoyed now than before.

"Mu'doc yew're high."

"So? What's it to you?"

"I's not weed... issit?"

Murdoc stood there quietly.

"**I'S NOT HUH?!**"

"Back off! Are yew my fuckin' mum?"

"Mudz yew shouldn' be doin' other fings..."

"I can do what I want!"

"Issit coke... LSD...shrooms... what?"

"Fuck off!"

2D looked up at him once more.

"Yew're talkin' awful fast...please get some water..."

"Fuck you! I can do whatever t'e hell I want!"

"Whatever yew took scares me! I's obviously not a light drug!"

"It's fine!"

"I's not fine at all! Is it Heroin?! Fuck Mudz...heroin is bad fo' yew! It can-"

"Shut the fuck up it's speed okay! Speed! Not like it matters!"

2D just stopped in his tracks.

"Speed? I though yew quit tha'..."

"Doesn't mean I couldn't take some just one last time!"

"Mudz tha's Meth! I's addictive! Yew can't take it an' expect to be fine!"

Murdoc picked up the nearest object and threw it at him.

"Yew fuckin' tosser!"

"Are ya' kidin'?! You hypocritical li'l bitch! You always get to be doped up on yo' pills an' stoned out of yo' fuckin' head an' once I do drugs i's a problem?! This is actually calmin' me down!"

"Yew ju' threw shit at me 'ead! Tha's not calm! I take my pills because of my migraines! I's not because I'm some burn out like yew!"

"Ya' really think I'm tha' stupid? Yo' supposed to take 1 or 2 for yo' stupid head problems! You take 4 or 5 at a time! Yo' always tryin' to play victim an' make people think yo' such an angel! Yo' just as much of a burn out as me!"

2D just stared at him. His eyes started turning white.

"Yo' no better than I am faceache. Yo' just as much of a fuckup."

Murdoc laughed in his face before storming out of the room.  
Why did he go in there in the first place?  
He already knows to avoid 2D while on any type of substance.  
Being around the vocalist makes him lose his temper quickly and snap under pressure.  
2D was definitely right about him not taking strong drugs like this...  
It makes him lose him mind...but then again that was the point.  
He wanted to escape from his mind.  
Slip away as much as he possibly could...become numb...  
Being drunk never made him forget anything.  
It just made his emotions worse internally...but if that was the case why did he drink so much?  
He just wanted to take whatever he could to get away from this wretched island.  
Then again, the island was his castle and he was the king.  
He couldn't just leave it.  
Besides, some people out there wanted to see him dead.  
There was no way out...  
Prisoner on his own island...  
Ironic.  
If leaving this place mentally was the only way, he'd do it.

* * *

2D was shaking again.  
His eyes were so white it was almost as if they were painted over.  
His hands were pale and shaking heavily as he tried to place another fag into his mouth.  
Once there his hands were shaking so badly his thumb fumbled to use the lighter.  
He broke out in hysterical sobs before he could even light it.  
This process was getting old.  
He was so tired of worrying about Murdoc.  
He was tired of being stuck on this island.  
He was tired of explaining everything he was tired of.  
It was all so obvious anyways.  
He never liked to see anyone drugged up...  
he felt like a hypocrite.  
He did drugs too...but nothing that harsh...  
then again he was always doped up on pills or weed.  
Murdoc was right.  
He was never any better than the satanist.  
He remembers back in Kong when he'd be high off his arse and Noodle would stare at him...  
She'd always give him this look...it was always so heartbroken and disappointed...  
he'd always hurt Noodle as badly as Murdoc did...  
he just did it with a smile.  
2D was going to keep crying...  
at the moment he felt like that was the only thing he was good at and the only thing that separated him and Murdoc.


	6. Where Are You Now?

_**And I hear of your coming and your going in the town.  
I hear stories of your smile,  
I hear stories of your frown.  
And the darkness can descend,  
We can relish all the pain.  
But I know that's what you love,  
Cause you know I love the same.  
Where are you now?  
Where are you now?  
Do you ever think of me  
In the quiet, in the crowd?**_

_**~Where Are You Now - Mumford & Sons**_

* * *

2D looked out of his window.  
First time in months he could look into the ocean without being fully afraid.  
It was very beautiful when you truly thought about it.  
If you thought even harder you'd see why it was such a horror.  
2D slowly closed his small curtain and laid back onto the bed.  
He lit a fag and took a long drag from it.  
He closed his eyes and imagined he was somewhere else, which he often did.  
There it was.  
Inside Kong Studios.  
Height of his lifetime.  
He saw the lights, the colours, everything.  
His keyboards hung from his walls next to his giant ping pong game.  
The computer had occasional beeping sounds that he tolerated and seemed to grow fond of.  
He heard a muffled knock at his door making him stare at it.  
"Come in" he murmured as the door creaked open.  
There stood Noodle in her pajamas with a wide grin.

"Toochi-san, a Zombie movie marathon is on...I thought you'd want to catch it."

"Oi! Thanks! Wouldn't miss it fo' t'e world!"

He got up quickly and started heading down the hall before he looked back.  
He stopped realizing Noodle wasn't following him.

"Somethin' wrong, luff?"

Noodle shook her head.

"No...I just...thought you..."  
She stopped mid sentence shaking her bangs into her eyes.  
2D always hated when she did that.  
It made her too hard to read...  
then again she was a teenage girl.  
It was difficult enough to understand her.  
He walked up brushing her bangs back.

"You thought I what?"

"Oh...well I thought you'd be happier without me there pestering you."

2D raised an eyebrow.

"What fun is a marathon wiffout my li'l Noodle?"

She shrugged smiling a bit.

"Noodle, yew're never a bother. We're yo' family an' we'll always want yew aroun'."

She smiled a bit more.

"What if I'm in trouble and you just want to get rid of me? What if I run away or go missing?"

2D laughed a bit to himself.

"Don' be silly. I know yew can take care of yo'self, but we're always 'ere fo' yew an' we'll always try to keep yew safe. Awright?"

"Promise?" She held out her pinky finger.

2D grinned.

"I promise." he stated before wrapping his smallest finger around hers.

"Now le's catch tha' marathon!"

Black.  
It all faded to black.  
Suddenly things grew hot.  
The heat and darkness made him nervous.  
He heard a voice in the distance.  
It got closer...and closer...until it was a loud whisper in his ear.

"_You promised._"

2D woke up with a yelp.  
He sat up quickly and checked his forehead to notice he was sweating.  
Holding up his hands, he realized he'd fallen asleep holding a death stick.  
Damn, he needed to stop doing that.  
He heard Murdoc pounding on his door before opening it.  
He frowned.

"What do yew-"

"No time fo' chit chat dent-face! We need to speak!"

"Abou' what now?"

"Noodle!"

2D got slightly angry at Murdoc.  
He felt like spitting on the bassist for even speaking her name.  
It was his fault she was dead.  
He had no right whatsoever to speak of her.

"Wha' abou' 'er?"

2D stated in an irritated tone re-lighting his cancer stick.

"We got reports!"

"Oh...so yew know how she died now?"

Murdoc frowned a bit.

"Do't be such a downer. There's people sayin' they've seen 'er aroun' town an' there's some hope tha' she's alive..."

"What hope? There's no fucking hope."

Murdoc rolled his eyes.

"I thought you'd be happy."

"Why woul' I get me hopes up? Believe yew and fink tha' she's ok now?"

"Faceache t'is isn't a joke! Jus' shut up an' watch this."

Murdoc sat next to the vocalist and opened up his laptop.  
He pressed play on a video.  
There they watched footage of a purple haired girl.  
She had a mask on covering her face.  
2D cocked his head to the side.  
He'd seen this same girl before.  
The first time he saw her he yelled at Murdoc for trusting that it was Noodle.  
Now she was back on top on some sort of...rock?  
He always questioned why this girl wearing a cat mask.  
She proceeded to play the melodica to their song "Broken".  
Then 2D saw it.  
His eyes widened in shock.  
"R-russel?"  
That was it.  
The video was over as soon as he realized.  
2D stared at the screen for a bit, his eyes turning a bit white.

"Where'd yew get tha'?"

"Fan sent it in." Murdoc stated simply as he closed his laptop and raised up.

2D had seen the mask before in another video.  
Now for that...person to be on top of...Russel?  
No way.  
No way in hell was that Russel.  
He was too busy having a mental breakdown.  
He couldn't...he wouldn't even be...  
2D frowned.

"Tha's obviously photoshopped. Some bloke thinks t'is is fucking hilarious..."

"Come on...it might really be 'er mate..."

"Oh yeah? T'en where is she now? Huh? Where t'e fuck is she?"

2D laid back down facing the wall placing his fag into his mouth and blowing clouds of smoke.

"Also, I'm not yo' mate."

Murdoc growled and quickly headed out of the singer's room.  
He didn't feel like dealing with his angst.  
2D closed his eyes tightly.  
He wanted that to be her... more than anything...  
but if that was the case, why would he refuse to believe it was?  
Maybe because he didn't want to get his hopes high for nothing.  
He turned over burying his face into his pillow.  
What if Noodle was coming back?  
Maybe she could save him from this shit hole...  
2D whimpered a bit.  
He missed her so much.  
Hopefully Murdoc wasn't fucking with him again.


	7. Roads

_**Author's note: Sorry for the huge delay. School's gone haywire and I wasn't really...mentally stable enough to write. Now I'm better so, enjoy.**_

* * *

_**No more can I say**_  
_**Frozen to myself**_  
_**I got nobody on my side**_  
_**And surely that ain't right**_  
_**And surely that ain't right**_  
_**Oh, can't anybody see**_  
_**We've got a war to fight**_  
_**Never found our way**_  
_**Regardless of what they say**_  
_**How can it feel, this wrong**_  
_**From this moment**_  
_**How can it feel, this wrong**_  
_**~ Roads - Portishead**_

* * *

The wind blew strands of darkened hair apart.  
Short legs crossed as a shaking hand held on loosely to a fag.  
The view of the ocean was quite sickening now...  
You go a bit mad if you're on it too long.  
Now what?  
So much has been happening...  
Pirate attacks non stop.  
There was only so much ammo...  
time was running out.  
Noodle took a long drag from the fag before blowing the smoke into the night sky.

"Baby-girl, you know how I feel about you smokin'."

"It's fine Russel-san. I am fine..."

She spaced out.  
Noodle had a tendency to do that now days.  
She seemed to get lost in her own thoughts.  
She couldn't wait until they finally reached the island.  
There was so much she needed to let out of her system.  
She wanted to see her big brother again.  
She wanted to kick Murdoc's ass to the moon.  
Whatever the case, she wanted to be out of the ocean.  
Russel seemed to be getting bigger and bigger as the days went by.  
He needed to get out of this toxic waste as soon as possible.  
She thought maybe...  
the dreams would stop.  
More like the nightmares.  
Every night she dreamt of that god forsaken place.  
It wasn't like old myths described it...  
it was so much worse.  
She couldn't get away from it.  
She may have a escaped, but it never escaped her.  
The bruise on her eye was a constant reminder.  
It still hurt some days.  
She can't remember how she got it...  
she just knew it was there, and it wasn't going any time soon.  
She finished her death stick and flicked the butt into the water gently hoping Russel didn't notice.  
He hated when she threw them into the water.  
She wasn't fond of it either, but where else would she put it?  
At least she now knew where all the trash went.  
She laid back onto Russel's head and relaxed as much as she could.  
She always kept one eye open though.  
An attack could hit them at any moment.

"Russel, do you think they miss me?"

Russel raised an eyebrow

"Why wouldn't they miss you?"

It grew quiet.

"Heck...I missed you like crazy."

Noodle smiled and quietly said "I missed you all so much..."

Russel stopped swimming for a moment.

"Noodle-girl...get some rest. I'll make sure nothin' happens to you."

"but Russel..."

"No buts. Sleep."

Noodle curled into a ball and tried to close both eyes.  
She was still afraid.  
She didn't know if she'd really be okay.  
It's not that she didn't trust Russel,  
she didn't trust anyone anymore.  
So many lies she'd been told...  
so many truths too.  
It all was so confusing.

Russel had always had a bond with Noodle, but she could feel that now they were both...too lost. Lost in their own thoughts and memories.  
Nothing could really stop it.  
Noodle knew no one could stop this horrible mental breakdown.  
Russel could try to help, but he wouldn't do too much good.  
He just watched her...tear herself apart.  
Destroying herself.  
She knew that's what they wanted.  
To see her lose her mind.  
Fall apart.

"Russel-chan..."  
she cleared her throat.  
she felt almost uncomfortable calling him Russel-chan.  
She felt like she had no right.

"Russel-sama, I don't think I'm ready...to see them yet."

"Why not?"

Noodle sighed.  
Even if she tried to explain he wouldn't get why.

"Baby-girl, they miss you. Everything will be fine. I promise."

The guitarist smiled to herself.  
She appreciated his optimism.  
of course she felt like he shouldn't make promises he can't keep,  
but maybe he thought he could keep them.  
She didn't know how to explain.  
Tell him she'd been alone for so long...  
her own ideas have been mangled and fucked up.  
She didn't know if they'd stabilize again...  
if she'd be stable enough at all.  
She was fighting a war with herself and there was nothing anyone could do...  
maybe she was hoping that once she was with her family again it would all come back together.

* * *

Murdoc smoked slowly while looking out onto the ocean.  
He didn't understand why 2D whined so much.  
_"Noodle can't be dead!"_ proves she's alive.  
_"Noodle can't be alive!"_ gets offended when people say she's dead.  
You can't ever fucking win with him.  
The bassist started to grow more angry by the second.  
"Who the fuck told 'im that he got a say!"  
This was all such bullshit.  
It's not like he killed Noodle...  
To be honest he might as well have.  
It's his fault she was...

Murdoc coughed awkwardly.  
He didn't want to cry.  
He didn't want to admit it...but he thought she was dead too.  
Everyone thought she was dead.  
There was nothing more he could do about it.  
He looked for her everywhere...  
but Cyborg was a good replacement...right?  
Good enough at least.  
He stopped thinking for just a moment and it hit him.  
It really was his fault.  
**He killed Noodle.**  
She was dead and it was all his fault.  
2D was right...there was no fucking hope.  
It was all a joke.  
They're just "cartoons".  
Nobody realises that a girl really died.  
People really died.  
If this wasn't real life than he sure as hell didn't know why it hurt so bad.  
He threw his fag down and stepped on it with the heel of his boot.  
He wasn't going to cry over this...  
over anyone.  
It's just not what he did.


End file.
